My Very Own Food Porn

Turkey, Couscous and VeggiesOriginally uploaded by stoeipoes.

Salmon, rice and broccoliOriginally uploaded by stoeipoes.

No money - Shopping Anyway

So last night as I was working out I felt pretty pathetic about my actual workout gear.

I have no sports-bra, which I desperately need, considering the melons that have grown out of my chest.

I have no roomy t-shirts to wear, no sports/workout shirts.

My Nike lycra shorts are about 3 sizes too small, totally stretched out and has holes that grow each time I put them on.  Not to mention… I wore them painting the last time we worked in the house, so there are paint spots on them.

So, I put on a pink supportive bra, that I thought would do the trick, a small-strapped tee that I normally wear to bed, my hole-y shorts, a pair of black socks turned grayish that also had holes in them, and my adidas running shoes that are still in pretty good shape, considering I was all good intentions and no action when I bought them.

I’m ready to be serious about this.  It doesn’t really matter what you wear I suppose… but you know how it feels to be fat AND be in sloppy, ill-fitting clothing while you are trying to actually do something about it??? 

I decided this morning I would “buy” new workout clothes online where I know I can make a couple monthly payments.  I bought sports bras, workoutpants and a cuddly sweatshirt hoodie.  I know I could have waited, but why should I??  I plan on going OUT and walking as well… I can’t wear ill-fitting clothes then, can I?  Isn’t it embarrassing enough to go out with my body the way it is, just to the supermarket or work? 

R took pics of me this morning.  Ugh.  I’m so disgusted.  I’m glad he sees me differently than I do.

Week of 21 - 27 August - Food Journals

Monday, 21 August

B – 2 scrambled eggs with: flax seeds, walnuts, splash of karnemelk.

L – 2 slices roggebrood, Mexican cr. Cheese, alfalfa

S – another roggebrood w/mex cr cheese Then stuck my finger in the cr cheese container

Several coffees/cappos at work

At least 1 litre of water if not more

D – burritos – lean ground beef, aged cheese, onions, peppers, mushrooms
Used olive oil for the veg
Used crème fraiche “light”

3 glasses of wine (I know :(   ) – R’s fault.

Exercise: well, don’t know if it counts but we had to clean and tidy the house in a frenzy last night. I was definitely sweating in any case. We have a prospective buyer for the flat coming!

Tuesday, 22 August

B – large bowl of Weetabix Crispy Bran cereal
2% milk
Flaxseeds
Walnuts
R’s homemade cappo

L – ordered a brown pistolet with herb cream cheese
Lettuce, tomato, cucumber
A few slices of egg

Spinach salad, bit of alfalfa, mushrooms, 1 roggebrood chopped up with mex. cream cheese, yoghurt dressing

1 “celebrations” snickers (arg)

2 carrots

D - grilled salmon
marinade - 2 tsps olive oil, fresh garlic, dried parsley, sea salt, ground black pepper, dried dill, “koenjit”, sesame seeds
wild rice
steamed broccoli
2 tsp Bertolli olive oil butter

Several coffee drinks at work
total water:  2 litres + 
R’s cappo after work 2 glasses of Sprite Zero

Exercise:  30 min elliptical / 224 calories (music:  Soft Cell)

Wednesday, 23 August

B - Weetabix Crunchy Bran cereal, flaxseeds, walnuts, ¾ banana
R’s cappo

L- sandwich: 2 slices multigrain bread, 2 slices WW chicken, alfalfa, lettuce, tomato, salt, pepper, 2 tsp mayo.

3 large herbal teas, 2 cappos at work, 1 choco-cafe

S - approx. 10 - 12 grapes

Salad with alfalfa, mushrooms, 1 tomato, 1 broken up piece of roggebrood, yoghurt dressing

several carrots

Pria Bar (choc & pb) -prior to workout

D - grilled tuna, couscous with sautéed mushrooms, red onions, garlic, approx 10g walnuts in 1 tsp olive oil.  Another tsp olive oil used on the tuna to not stick to the grill.

water:  2+ litres

exercise:  30 min elliptical (gorge program)/ 241 cals

Thursday, 24 August

B - cup of tea (with milk), bowl of crunchy bran (40g), 1 peach cut up, 1 tsp flaxseeds, milk.

Coffees at work:  1 coffee/milk, 1 choco café

L - Kick-Ass Sandwich
2 slices of multigrain bread
2 slices of WW chicken
watercress
alfalfa
cucumber slices
2 tsp mayo, 2 tsp mustard, salt, pepper

S - 100g cottage cheese, 1 tomato, 10g walnuts, salt, pepper

about 10 grapes, give or take a few.

Cappo at home

D - R shopped and cooked so we had…  chicken risotto.  Not the leanest dinner in the world, but this is my reality.  I’m not going to critcise him if he is shopping AND cooking.

4 glasses of wine…  looked this up in my WW shopping guide.  125ml is 1½ point.  I measured it out and marked a glass.  Didn’t quite have 4 glasses but almost, so let’s call it 6 points.

No Exercise today

Friday, 25 August

B - 3 scrambled eggs with:  cilantro/corriander, 10g walnuts, flaxseed, garlic, cumin, salt, pepper and a tomato.

1 large espresso

Been nursing a Diet Coke all morning

1 ginger tea at work, 1 choco café, 1 wiener melange

L - Kickass Chicken Sandwich, 1 Vitelinea Raspberry yoghurt

 

water:  not quite 1 litre

s - some grapes, a few carrots and a Pria Bar

D - yes, we had pizza again…  and 4 glasses of wine

Roos Vicee multi-vit drink (2 glasses)

Saturday, 26 August

B - measured everything out:
40 g Weetabix Crunchy Bran
10 g walnuts
10 g flaxseeds
74 g banana
162 g peach

200 ml 2% milk
2 homemade cappuccinos

Bad, bad accident

So in my post yesterday I mentioned a colleague of R, Mark was in a terrible accident over the weekend.If you go here:

http://www.fotoserver.nl/new/output.php?pag=recent The link on top gives details and shows photos of the accident.  It is so bad it makes me feel like throwing up :(  Normally I don’t get too bothered by this stuff, but this is BAD.I’m surprised BOTH guys are not dead (Mark was the passenger).

Hmmph.

That’s my general feeling today.  Monday gets that feeling a lot for some reason.

The weekend:  Actually it was ok +.  Though we went to the Latin festival yesterday and it rained absolute buckets on us so we had to abort that journey fairly quickly.

T wrote us a note and gave it to us on Saturday evening.  It was the sweetest thing ever.  Man do I love that little girl! She wrote it in Dutch of course, but here is the translation:
     Dear Papa and *****,
     I love you both so very much.
     As much as a rocket that goes 1000 times around the world. 
     Sometimes I miss you a little but then I just think about you.
     Because I have never before seen such a loving Papa and Stepmother before!

Then she drew a little heart with “I love You” (in English, I taught her that ) and a pretty rose by it.  Sweet, huh?

Well, crap.

So yesterday wasn’t so great.  I started off all right, but I didn’t have a lot at home to have for lunch so I ordered two small sandwiches at work (we call these “bolletjes” - they are buns, I guess you would call in the states).  I made a mistake and ordered something I don’t even really like (chicken curry - it’s VERY mayonaise-y) and a normal sandwich with herb cream cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a few egg slices.

The plan was to have a salad, at least, in the middle of the afternoon, but I was so busy at work I had NO TIME to even do this.  I had way too many coffees, not enough water… it was just an off day.

Around 5pm my boss came in with chips for us and he brought me a diet coke.  Shortly after that he brought me a glass of rosé (yes, we have a drink at the office sometimes on a Friday, it’s “normal” in Europe I guess) - you see, around 4:30

Food Journal 17.08.2006

OK here we go:

B - 3 scrambled eggs with:
spinach
pinch of flax seeds
cumin
about 10g of walnuts
splash of buttermilk (karnemelk)
cooked with FF non-stick spray

L - same as yesterday pretty much:
roggebrood
light mexican cream cheese
alfalfa

1 banana

2 “celebrations” - snickers & twix

2 stroopwaffels

D - turkey, wild rice and sauteed veggies(mushrooms, peppers, onions, walnuts)

Drinks at work: 4 or so cappos, 2 Red Bull light (hey, only 7½ cals!)

Water consumption: 2 litres

exercise:  30 min elliptical/ 210 cals

ooops!  3 glasses of wine!!  am I a wino?

I have an elliptical, and I’m not afraid to use it.

That’s right.

I exercised.  The word itself pains me, but I did it.

I put Linkin Park in the portable CD/DVD player and even kept on going when the battery died.

20 minutes/ 140 cals.

Go me!

Food 16.08.2006

B- home made cappuccino (thanks to the one I love!)

wheatabix bran cereal, fruit, normal milk, flax
(finished the walnuts yesterday, still getting used to soy milk)

S - a few strawberries, 1 tea and 2 cappos at work

L - going with the old roggebrood/cream cheese/veg standby

snackity snack - spinach/lettuce salad with, radishes, cucumbers, 1 tomato, chicken, yoghurt dressing.

1 Sultana YoFruit biscuit (think these are around 1 WW pts each - I gave the other to R)

D - soup and sandwiches
dark brown nutty bread with
cheese, chicken slices, lean salami, pesto (I had 1½ with chicken and 1 with salami)
chinese tomato soup

3 glasses of sprite zero, small bottle of diet coke

Will someone PLEASE kick my ass and make me exercise tonight???

The History of her Weight, Part I

I don’t only want this to be a WL blog, I want it to be for everything, especially my adventures of a stepmother.  BUT…  I think it’s important, if ANYONE is going to be interested in moi to give a little history behind the weight thang.

 I’m one of these girls who thought she was fat when she looked in the mirror but really wasn’t.  I was OK until I was about 10, when someone decided to do something to me in a park that made me feel pretty dirty and effed up (it’s ok, I’ve worked through it… I think.  Oh and no relation to my family, just some perv who got off tricking and touching little girls).  I’m pretty sure that’s the moment I only felt bad about my body and saw ugliness in the mirror.

But like I said.  I wasn’t fat or even slightly overweight as a kid.  I see pictures of me from high school now… man, I would KILL to be in that body again!  I thought I was HUGE!  Well, I was bigger than most of my friends… only to find out later that that was because THEY had eating disorders.  Can’t win for losing, really.