Well, crap.
So yesterday wasn’t so great. I started off all right, but I didn’t have a lot at home to have for lunch so I ordered two small sandwiches at work (we call these “bolletjes” - they are buns, I guess you would call in the states). I made a mistake and ordered something I don’t even really like (chicken curry - it’s VERY mayonaise-y) and a normal sandwich with herb cream cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a few egg slices.
The plan was to have a salad, at least, in the middle of the afternoon, but I was so busy at work I had NO TIME to even do this. I had way too many coffees, not enough water… it was just an off day.
Around 5pm my boss came in with chips for us and he brought me a diet coke. Shortly after that he brought me a glass of rosé (yes, we have a drink at the office sometimes on a Friday, it’s “normal” in Europe I guess) - you see, around 4:30 I had this thought come into my head that I’d left my lights on all day (I have a 1990 Mini - they don’t come with a warning bell if you leave your lights on); right after he finally got me to call the ANWB (emergency service) he gave me the glass of wine. I guess he figured I needed it.
The ANWB came and jumped my car and then I went to get petrol, since I knew I needed to do that already this morning. I made it to the petrol station, tanked up (19 litres! My tank only holds 20 so I was pretty empty!), got my credit card out to pay… nothing… blocked. Got my account pass out to pay… no balance… got my visa out to pay…nothing. How embarrassing (I told you I was broke). So I filled out the necessary paperwork, used my last 5,50 to buy cigarrettes and a coke (can you blame me) and went home. Didn’t have keys to the house, but no biggie, I waited for R and the kids to get home from the supermarket and made a few phone calls I’d been wanting to make.
So, it wasn’t the best of days, it wasn’t the worst either. R didn’t feel like cooking… we ordered out again (not really smart when you don’t have a lot of money but, whatever) - lasagne. I ate the whole thing. I was pretty starving (I did have a stroopwaffle as well before that). We drank wine in the evening. I’m pretty sure drinking wine doesn’t help weight loss efforts. I did however drink around 2 to 2½ litres of water while drinking wine, just to make sure I could flush some toxins out.
On the scale this morning… 100 gr down from last week. It’s pretty pathetic. However, today I’m just going to try to focus on the fact that it is a loss and that’s what I’m aiming for, right?
This is typical though. I have been the same weight pretty much since last November or so. I remember doing this, and actually going back to Weight Watchers… the lowest I got was 99.8 KG. Is it the wine? It is really bad choices? Is it portion control? Is it lack of exercise? Is it my medication??? I don’t know.
I can not give up. That’s all I know. I just can not.
In non-body/weight/food crap news…
We have the kids this weekend! Yay! I love how they come and kiss and hug me and want to tell me things - that they are truly excited to see me. I am truly excited to see them too. It does put a damper on social life of course… a friend of mine had a housewarming party last night… all this time I thought it was going to be today. I figured, she’s a stepmom too and has her stepson much more often than we have the kids, we could just take them with us and the kids could get to know her son and play and the adults could, uh, play as well :) Anyway, I screwed up the date, so I/we couldn’t go. Party started at 9 and kids had to be in bed by then. Besides, when you only have the kids 4 days a month you don’t really arrange a babysitter then, you know? Not cool.
So today we are going to do more clearing out. We want to sell the flat, I obviously need to sell as many things as possible (furniture mostly, maybe clothes, cd’s, books) and we are going to clear out, throw away and/or pack up what we can put in storage. Can’t say I’m mega excited about it, but it needs to be done.
Tomorrow we are meeting friends in Amersfoort, for Dias Latinos Festival! Yay! My friends are from the states, I met her actually through another message board, her husband got a two year deal over here and so we try to get together occassionally. They have a 2 year old daughter that is truly edible! I’m really looking forward to a day out with them!
For now I must go take some aspirin for this headache. Wine again?
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