Now a little bit about everything
I just got back from vacation. It was good, all in all, but HARD. Why, you ask? Because as a stepmom, going on vacation with the one you love and his (my) kids can be trying at times. We only have them every other weekend, or 4 days a month, and three weeks in the summer. The three weeks in the summer is a big concentration of time together that we are not used to. None of us. Three weeks in the summer is when the one I love and I find out we have different parenting styles. How could I possibly have a parenting style when I’m not a parent? Easy, it’s instinct really. I know many parents think they know better than I do, since I couldn’t understand how it really is when these kids didn’t come through my birthing passage. Well, that’s not true. Instinct is very strong in these situations. If I didn’t like/want kids my instinct would tell me to run or disengage, but because I DO care, it’s very hard for me to do that. Hence having tense or hard moments on vacation.
As I said though, things were good all in all. I think the kids and the one I love really enjoyed going to the States, meeting my family, seeing where I grew up, etc. I have some awesome pictures as well. It was hotter than hell, but we had lightning and rain storms every day except the last day. I’ll have to go to the tanning salon before I return to work on Monday just to prove I was on holiday!
What else… well… now that I’m back to reality there are some serious things that I need to look at and take care of:
Finances: I just got a message from my ex that he can not sort out his loan here that my name happens to be on. This sucks particularly because we (the one I love and me) want to buy a house. This loan wreaks major havoc on my personal financial/credit score. I have no idea what we (the one I love and me) are going to do now. Back to the RE agent to see what the options are.
Weight: Yes, I’m fat. I shouldn’t say it, it’s so negative. How do you NOT call yourself fat when, really, you are? It’s not that bad though, I just need to get control of it. I NEED to. I HAVE to. Why? Because 1) it’s not healthy to be overweight and 2) IF/WHEN we want to have a baby I’m going to be mega high risk. Mega. I’m no spring chicken AND I’m fat. So. Something else that’s going to be started asap. I’m going back to Weight Watchers next week, Tuesday.
Relationship: some exciting things are in the works. At least we are going to go ahead and try to have a baby together. We have no choice but to do IVF. My love had his toolbox permanently shut after P was born. We tried to reopen it with no luck. So, IVF is our only option.
Therapy: Starts next week too. I have to go. I still have some issues to work out.
I’m terribly jet-lagged. Will update again as things progress.
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